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WHERE WE LIVE (3#) -

Do Your Hands Glow in the Dark?

# HAZMAT: It's 10pm; do you know
where all of your radioactive devices are?

Because there's a radioactive device
missing from a Coral Gables construction site.

And guess what: it is bio-hazardous!
It will give you radioactive poisoning.

Yes, another typical day in SoFlo -
where morons will steal anything that isn't
nailed down, no matter what it is, even if it kills them.

# FORCED OUT: If foreclosure doesn't get you, you can still find yourself up a canoe without a paddle in Florida, where developers are reversing condo conversions.

Maybe you thought you owned your condo, but now it turns out that was just a transitory illusion. Of course you can still live there, but only as a vagrant. Not to worry, though, because you can always live under bridge where there is a spot already reserved for you.

# TRUCKTICLES: In some parts of Florida there is currently a fad to hang replicas of bull testicles on the back of pickup trucks and other vehicles. This past Thursday, the FL State Legislature discussed whether this practice should be banned by law.

Newspapers in SoFlo now increasingly feature videos instead of stories because of the drastically dwindling population base here who can read English - just like in the Third World.

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